Saturday, September 23, 2006
Counting my blessings..one birthday at a time...
Augh! My little guy turned 4 years old today. I can't believe it! To this day Trev and I say his birth and our lives are a miracle. Parker and I should have never survived being hit by that semi truck in our little 1993 Acclaim on that rainy foggy evening. It used to be that a day didn't go by that I didn't think about that accident or the events surrounding his emergency c-section and birth . Now I would have to say a week doesn't go by. Time definitely helps heal the memories and the nightmares are definitely less frequent. It has just been in the last few weeks that I showed Parker pictures of "him in my belly" and pictures of the mangled car that must have had a thousand angels protecting it. He knows that his life is precious and that the joy he brings us everyday is indescribeable. I pray daily that I do not take being a mom for granted. Even in my most frustrated and impatient moments I pray that I treasure it all (yes, even the tantrums, meltdowns and occasional sassyness) b/c it could have been taken away from me in a second. I also try to remember that Parker (and Lillie) are gifts to Trev and myself. Do you how hard it is for me to admit that they are not ours? I mean we say "our kids" but it actuality they are God's and they are only ours while here on this earth. I am embarrassed to say it took me 2 years before I could fully dedicate Parker to God. I could turn over our finances, our marriage, all of our material belongings but when it came to my children the most treasured possessions I have, I could not do it. I would pray it every morning but it wasn't until right before Lillie was born that I could fully give my kids to Him. It was like all the stress of trying to protect them myself and make sure they were constantly cared for and safe was too much to handle. The moment I relinquished control of those feelings I felt relief and peace. So here, as I celebrate Parker's 4th birthday and his happy, healthy, carefree (and oh so active) life I am reflecting on the fact that being his mother is an amazing blessing.
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2 comments:
The blessings certainly do abound when you look at Parker and you and know what you were going through just days before his arrival. I will never forget that hit of pain and the huge prayers that went up when Trevis called for us to get to you on that horrible road that day. I just know that God was there through it all and has continued to be there through your all's continued testimony to life, Parker's wonderful activity, and Lillie's beautiful, carefree personality! We thank God that he is there in all of our times of need to make something beautiful out of something that is sometimes not.
hmmm... I have often thought about how you got to me before Trev even did. To say your friendship has been a blessing the past 5 years would be a huge understatement. You and Josh are like family to us and I love that you and I have shared in the good, bad, ugly, beautiful, amazing, terrifying and unknown together. May God continue to bless and grow our friendship in ways we can't even imagine... LOVE YOU!
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