Dear Grandma...

Giving Greatma some kisses

Dear Grandma,

I sit here with tears stinging my eyes and an ache that won't go away. Your absence is so heavily felt in our house and I thought writing might help ease the pain a little and give Parker and Lillie something to remember years from now. I have been flooded with memories this past week. All of them sweet and all of them with you at the center. Memories that I have shared with the kids and Trevis, but I wanted them in writing to look back on and recall.

58 yrs of marriage!!!

 I vividly remember that first Thanksgiving 15 yrs ago when Trevis brought me home and I was worried about the formalities of what to call you. Trevis nonchalantly said, "You can call them Grandma and Grandpa. They are used to answering to that." So, that's what I did. I was 15 hours away from home, no family at Thanksgiving for the first time in 18 years and  there, sitting in your kitchen getting to know you and feeling like I had known you for years, I found comfort and felt love.

When we decided to move to Louisville, you and Grandpa were at the very heart of that decision. To live near you, raise a family near you, be around you... we would get all giddy thinking about it.We will never ever regret for one second that decision. It would place our family in close proximity to you and Grandpa and give us the opportunity to spend every month, sometimes a few times a month, with you both. Those days are a priceless gift and a blessing that I will forever be thankful for.

Parker and Greatma

During those memorable visits we would share recipes and often we would be your "guinea pigs" as you liked to call it for new meals. We would walk into the house and always smell something wonderful and scrumptious baking, simmering and cooking. Except for that ONE time. The night we came to surprise you with some BIG news. We walked in your front door anticipating the yummy meal you had prepared and the game of Train we would play late into the night. Well, we walked in the door and I was hit instantly with the smell of... fish?!?! I still laugh out loud when I think about your meal of salmon patties in combination with my 1st trimester of morning sickness. You took one look at me and asked if I was ok. I  nodded weakly and  excused myself to the restroom. When I came back, the secret was out because I was so afraid of hurting your feelings. We showed you and Grandpa the ultrasound pic of Parker and you let me eat  a 1/2 loaf of  "Greatma bread" straight out of the oven because it was the only thing that sounded good  to eat. We had kept that secret for 3 months without telling anyone and we were so excited to share it with you first. You were also the first "field trip" after both our kids were born as we were afraid to take them to the grocery or even to church in fear they would catch some sickness. But we knew your house would be clean, fun, relaxing and full of love!

Sometime in the last 15 years you stopped being "Trevis's Grandma" and became "my Grandma". I think the moment might have been March of 2003. Parker was 6  months old and Trevis was going out of town. I was going to be alone with a fussy baby in the middle of nowhere for 2 nights. When you found out, you invited Parker and me to spend the night. Up to that point, I didn't consider visiting you without Trevis but you mentioned it several times and I couldn't turn down the offer. So I packed us up and spent the night. In that moment you made me feel oh so loved and special. From that time on, a weekly "playdate" to Greatma and Greatpa's was in the schedule. Those trips will always hold a special place in my heart as they were such a great break from the norm. They were an opportunity to be totally spoiled by you with a yummy meal, a chance for a nap while you held Parker, and a chance for Grandpa to fill my trunk with goodies from the garden, an abundance of grapefruit and bananas from Aldi's and whatever else he could find. We would make those trips every week until Lillie was 3 years old (then we moved an hour and 1/2 north and they became monthly family trips). I looked forward to those trips like a kid looks forward to an ice cream cone. They were sweet, fun and left anticipation for more.

Lils catching her first fish!

You were the quintessential grandmother I had read about in books and seen in the movies. When we visited you, there was no one and nothing more important than us. I can remember driving off in the evening after a day spent at your house fishing, eating and  playing games with tears in my eyes as Parker and Lillie cried in the backseat because they were so sad to leave. You left your mark of love on them as you did on me.

You gave Parker and Lillie many special gifts over the years that have been so adored. The homemade aprons that they would play kitchen in for hours. The handmade fleece blanket and pillow that Lillie snuggled up with in bed at night. The handmade kite quilt that Parker still cherishes. The baby doll clothes that fit Baby Emma perfectly! While many Grandma's have bowls of candy and cookies handy, you would always have a bowl of fresh cherry tomatoes from the garden for Parker to inhale or a dish of frozen blueberries (during out of season time) for Lillie to enjoy. It is all of these acts of kindness and thoughtfulness we will miss and it hurts to think about it.

The handmade aprons

When the kids were real young, they would always start to get fussy in the van right when we could see your house on the hill. At this point I taught them a little chant, "Greatma's! Greatpa's! Woo-woo-woo!!" We would repeat it over and over until we exited the highway and the jingle has stuck for 6 years now.  Last week when we got to that point on the road, Parker and Lillie both started to sing it but immediately stopped because as Parker said in a quiet voice, " We don't know what we are supposed to sing now."

Lil's first hospital guest

Grandma, you have had such an impact on our family and we know that it's not "good-bye" just "see you later"  but that doesn't stop the wonderful memories and the tears that accompany them. The other night Parker prayed, " Dear God,  I hope you are enjoying Greatma as much as we did". 

Grandma, we enjoyed you soooo much. "Thank you" is inadequate and "we miss you" is an understatement. The legacy you leave behind in your Christ-like example of living, loving and giving will be passed on for generations. I am so thankful that God placed you in my life and to have had such a wonderful Grandma and for my kids to have had such an amazing Greatma...